I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
