I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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