your thong is hanging out like whoa
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
