Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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