and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize