We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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