y did u give ur computer a hand job?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
