Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
