Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
