I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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