I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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