I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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