so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize