i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
