there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
