I just saw a hot homeless man
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
