Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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