Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
