Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
