then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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