K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
