Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
