i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
