Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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