How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
