you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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