When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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