What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
