so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
