how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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