My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
