She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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