I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize