Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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