tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
