First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
