She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
