good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
