i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
