I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I enjoy the company of your penis
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
