and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
