Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
