Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
