i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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