Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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