Yo dont text me then not text me
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
