...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
