end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
