i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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