hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
