I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize