I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
