why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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