In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize