Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
