Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
