i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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