Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
