I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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