I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
