Already got asked if we're dating
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize