I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
