OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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