I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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