I am spending my child support on dildos
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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