Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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