I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize