im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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