whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
