Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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