He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
