Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
