apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
