I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
