Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
