i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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