i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
