um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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