nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
is wine microwaveable?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
