Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
