Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
