Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
