but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
