well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
